Sorry that I have been M.I.A. on this blog for almost 2 months! I have just been busy with life and getting things ready for our precious little boy to come. I am so excited to meet him and I already feel such an INCREDIBLE love for him. As I feel him and watch him kick and move almost all day, my heart fills with gratitude. I start the 3rd trimester on Sunday and it is so crazy to think that I will be entering the last stretch and will only have 12 weeks until his due date. 12 weeks until I meet our very special little boy. It's interesting how the pain I felt before has almost completely disappeared as I carry this little boy. I feel so much gratitude for him and how this pregnancy has been perfect from the beginning. But honestly, I think the reason I feel so much gratitude about the pregnancy going well is because of my past experiences. If I hadn't experienced that I know that I would take it for granted. And I know that others will scoff at the fact that my pain is basically totally gone and tell me that that is impossible. But I KNOW that I was supposed to go through that and that those experiences have brought me to where I am, strengthened me and made me a better person. Instead of pain, I feel strength. Instead of hurt, I feel gratitude. Instead of anger, I feel love. I know that I will have those spirits to raise, and instead of feeling sadness, I feel excitement to meet them. Through this experience I have come to know that this was the will of the Lord and that it was the best thing for me. Of course it took this trial to help me see this and feel these things, but I can say I feel those things with all honesty. And there may be people who do not believe me, but these are the feelings that I feel. completely 100% honest.
(26 1/2 weeks)
I honestly do not live in the past, rehashing memories or pain from before. I look forward, excited about this chapter in my life. I do not relive the hurt because I have so much happiness to enjoy. As I look back on that chapter of my life, I see so TANGIBLY the hand of the Lord directing me and leading me in when we got pregnant (we felt so strongly to get pregnant when we did the 2nd time which was about 2 years earlier than we had expected...we were going to wait until I graduated from college) , the doctors we saw (who I really think were inspired to suggest certain things), the things we did in our plan (like some things we did which may not have made sense to others but we felt prompted to do for example me gaining weight etc.) etc. which all lead to where I am today and to our little boy. That part of my life is something I am truly grateful for because it has brought me to where I am today, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere but here.
"The adversities we face in life are meant to make us better, not bitter.... God did not put us on this earth to fail." - Jon Huntsman
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