When I wrote the post on April 12th and ended it with a section from Elder Wirthlin's talk entitled "Sunday Will Come" I had no idea how close I was to my own Sunday.
And when I ended that post with the following thought that I had, I didn't realize how soon it was actually coming:
"So while we endure our "Fridays" and the darkness seems to stretch on and on, know that our glorious and joy-filled "Sunday" will come. It is during my moments of dispair and "Friday" moments that the personal promises of my "Sunday" make it worth going strong."
Little did I know that the next month my Sunday would come and the darkness of my "fridays" would be a memory of a time where I grew and became the person that I am today. Little did I know that it was so close. I knew it would happen, but I had no idea how close I really was. I could feel that it was coming, but as I look back I never realized how soon. And as I said above, during the dark moments of my "Friday" experiences, I would dream of when my "Sunday" would come and this is what my dream would look like:
But I had no idea how wonderful it would actually be to be living that dream.
Now I know and as I said at the closing of my post on April 12th, the promises of "Sunday" were worth all of what I had to go through.
I am now almost 15 weeks
and everything has gone perfectly. Those pictures are from our appointment when I was about 12 weeks and I was finally told that I am in the safe zone. It was so amazing to hear that; see our baby kicking it's legs, touching it's face and moving all around and then hear it's little heartbeat.
I feel so blessed.
I know that things can still go wrong, and I still catch myself entertaining worries and "what-if's" even as my belly grows.
But even if something did happen, at least I can carry the image of our baby in my mind and know that I had the blessing of growing a baby for so long.
But I am still so overwhelmed with gratitude to know that a little miracle is growing in my belly.
I already love our baby so much even though we haven't officially met
and the love and joy that I feel make all the pain of my "fridays" melt away and disappear.
It's like a distant memory but the raw pain of miscarriage dissipates instantly when I realize that all that pain, all that suffering and the waiting would bring me our little precious baby.
As I look back I can see the wisdom of an all-knowing father who allowed me to be tested
so that I would appreciate our baby even more
be so grateful even on days when I am so incredibly and miserably sick
make sure that I am the best person possible to be the mother to our special child
have more patience
see the wonderful miracle pregnancy is
and NEVER take it for granted.
What wisdom
and yet I am sure that as I live I will see even more tidbits of wisdom in our experience with miscarriage.
As I said above, I am filled with such a gratitude
for a loving Heavenly Father who helped me and stayed by my side comforting me with his spirit. I know that if I had not been able to rely on Him and my faith I would not look back on my experiences to see them as wonderful learning experiences.
What more can I say than that my heart is so full and I am so grateful.
"...Know thou, my [child],
that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good."
--Doctrine and Covenants 122:7
I am now almost 15 weeks
and everything has gone perfectly. Those pictures are from our appointment when I was about 12 weeks and I was finally told that I am in the safe zone. It was so amazing to hear that; see our baby kicking it's legs, touching it's face and moving all around and then hear it's little heartbeat.
I feel so blessed.
I know that things can still go wrong, and I still catch myself entertaining worries and "what-if's" even as my belly grows.
But even if something did happen, at least I can carry the image of our baby in my mind and know that I had the blessing of growing a baby for so long.
But I am still so overwhelmed with gratitude to know that a little miracle is growing in my belly.
I already love our baby so much even though we haven't officially met
and the love and joy that I feel make all the pain of my "fridays" melt away and disappear.
It's like a distant memory but the raw pain of miscarriage dissipates instantly when I realize that all that pain, all that suffering and the waiting would bring me our little precious baby.
As I look back I can see the wisdom of an all-knowing father who allowed me to be tested
so that I would appreciate our baby even more
be so grateful even on days when I am so incredibly and miserably sick
make sure that I am the best person possible to be the mother to our special child
have more patience
see the wonderful miracle pregnancy is
and NEVER take it for granted.
What wisdom
and yet I am sure that as I live I will see even more tidbits of wisdom in our experience with miscarriage.
As I said above, I am filled with such a gratitude
for a loving Heavenly Father who helped me and stayed by my side comforting me with his spirit. I know that if I had not been able to rely on Him and my faith I would not look back on my experiences to see them as wonderful learning experiences.
What more can I say than that my heart is so full and I am so grateful.
"...Know thou, my [child],
that all these things shall give thee experience and shall be for thy good."
--Doctrine and Covenants 122:7
No comments:
Post a Comment