All knowing

I was thinking tonight. I was remembering back to the first months of our marriage 3 years ago, and how we wanted to be parents. But, interestingly enough, instead of feeling the spirit prompt and witness to us that we should have children, like we expected, we had a different answer. A very strong feeling we shouldn't start trying. I thought that was odd. Then in a blessing right after we started to try a couple months later, I was told I would go through something others would think was hard, but I wouldn't think it was. That wording is so interesting because as it is hard somedays, all in all (because of many tender mercies etc.), I do not consider this hard. On and on and on the list goes and I come to this conclusion: this was always in the plan. These have never been "a mistake". It has never been a fluke. This was planned. This was supposed to happen. All of this is helping me get to my end goal and He knew that this would help me get there. Knowing that my life has and is in the hands of the Lord makes the anxiety disappear. This is a wonderful thing to help "grow" faith (during this trial I have felt my faith and hope grow and grow and grow). When I get rid of the thought that there is something wrong with my body I have to fix, stress and worry about it, I have a knowledge that has been brought to my attention by the spirit which is: my body has been working exactly as it should...for the experiences that I need to go through. There is no amount of research and studying that I can do to reverse that. Simply put, my body will work "correctly" (or as the world sees as correctly) when it is supposed to, and not a moment later.

So my testimony of another facet of my Heavenly Father has grown. He really is, completely 100% all knowing. He knew in our early months, that I shouldn't start trying, because I needed to go through this sanctification and growing experience. He also knew that I would need that knowledge that this was supposed to happen to help me not be too sad about all of it.

I have had other thoughts, but I need to go to bed...